so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
