My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
