# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
