Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
