You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
