isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
