we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
