This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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