Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Who died my cat blue again?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
