Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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