oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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