bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
