i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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