Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize