whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think weed is turning my hair brown
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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