If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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