Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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