She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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