Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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