I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize