I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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