Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
