u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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