i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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