Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
