he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He better not be in your backpack
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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