i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
did you just send me my own nude
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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