Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
