He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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