One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hippo gnu deer
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
