I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
