whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
