If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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