her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
