He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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