for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
