I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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