she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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