There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
