hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Shitshow foam night was such a success
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
