Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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