took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
