I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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