the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
