i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
