remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
