fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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