Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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