After last night, I could never be a politician.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
