Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
