More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
