Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
