Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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