If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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