Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
