A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've blown a few things in my day
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
