I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
