whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
