i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's blow job season.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
