You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
