I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
