so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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