hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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